Supporting emotional dysregulation in children in early years settings

In early years education, children’s emotional ups and downs are a natural part of development. But when these emotional responses are intense, unpredictable, or prolonged, a challenge that nursery and early years staff frequently encounter, it can be difficult to manage in these settings. Knowing how to support these children effectively can transform not only their individual experiences but also the classroom environment as a whole.

This post will explore what emotional dysregulation looks like in young children, why it occurs, and practical, psychology-informed strategies that educators can use to create a calm, supportive environment for every child.

What is emotional dysregulation?

Emotional dysregulation refers to a child’s difficulty in managing their emotional responses in a developmentally appropriate way. In nursery and early years settings, this may look like:

• Frequent tantrums or meltdowns

• Sudden mood changes

• Aggression or withdrawal

• Difficulty calming down after upset

  
  

These behaviours can often be misunderstood as “naughtiness” or defiance, but they’re usually signs that the child is overwhelmed and struggling to cope.

Why do young children struggle with emotional regulation?

Emotional regulation is a skill - one that is still developing in children under five (and beyond). Several factors influence a child’s ability to manage their emotions:

• Brain development: The parts of the brain responsible for self-regulation (the frontal lobe) are still maturing in young children.

• Attachment and relationships: Children with insecure attachments or early trauma may not have developed the trust and co-regulatory experiences needed to feel safe.

• Sensory processing challenges: Some children are highly sensitive to sensory input (e.g., noise, textures), which can lead to overwhelm.

• Language limitations: When children lack the words to express their feelings, they may act them out instead.

Understanding these root causes helps educators approach behaviour with empathy, not judgment.

The role of educators in supporting regulation

Early years educators are in a powerful position to help children develop emotional regulation through consistent, nurturing relationships. Key principles include:

1. Co-regulation before self-regulation

Young children learn to regulate their emotions by being soothed by a calm, attuned adult. Before expecting a child to calm down on their own, we must first model that regulation for them.

2. Safety and routine

Predictable routines, clear expectations, and gentle transitions reduce stress for dysregulated children. A consistent environment helps them feel safe and in control.

3. Connection over correction

When a child is emotionally dysregulated, they are not in a learning state. Instead of correcting the behaviour in the moment, focus first on re-establishing connection and calm.

Practical strategies for nursery and early years staff

Here are several effective, relationship-informed techniques that can be used in everyday practice:

1. Use visual emotion charts

Visual aids help children identify and name their feelings. Try a "feelings thermometer" or "zones of regulation" board to encourage emotional literacy.

2. Implement predictable transitions

Give children warnings before changes occur (e.g., “In 5 minutes, we’ll tidy up”) and use songs, timers, or visual timetables to signal routine shifts.

3. Narrate and validate feelings

Instead of trying to stop the behaviour, name what you see and validate the emotion:

• “I wonder if you’re feeling really angry because your tower fell. That’s hard.”

• “I can see you’re upset. I’m here with you.”

This models emotional vocabulary and teaches children that all feelings are valid, even if not all behaviours are okay, and a trusted adult will remain with them through these difficult feelings.

4. Use grounding techniques

For children in distress, simple sensory grounding tools can help bring them back to calm:

• Deep breathing games (“smell the flower, blow out the candle”)

• Sensory bottles or soft textures

• Gentle movement (rocking, stretching, squeezing a stress ball)

5. Model calm behaviour

Your tone, facial expressions, and body language all communicate safety. Speak softly, maintain open posture, and stay present - even in challenging moments.

When to seek additional support

Some children may need more than classroom strategies alone. Red flags that indicate a need for psychological or specialist input include:

• Frequent, intense meltdowns that interfere with learning or relationships

• Limited progress despite consistent support

• History of trauma or adverse childhood experiences

• Regression in development (e.g., loss of language, toilet training)

In these cases, a collaborative approach involving parents, SENCOs, and mental health professionals can be critical to providing the right support.

How Little Minds Psychology can help

At Little Minds Psychology, we specialize in supporting early years professionals through:

• Tailored staff training on emotional regulation, behaviour support, and trauma-informed practice

• Parent coaching to ensure consistent support across home and nursery settings

Whether you’re a nursery manager looking to upskill your team or a parent concerned about your child’s emotional development, we’re here to help.

Final thoughts

Emotionally dysregulated behaviour in early childhood is not a sign of defiance - it's a way of a child communicating. With the right strategies, a calm approach, and supportive relationships, educators can make a profound difference in helping children learn to navigate their emotions and feel safe in the world around them.